Wednesday, May 4, 2011

on top of the world

        Jane Austin once wrote, "A girl likes to be crossed in love now and then, it gives her something to think about.". He was my first thought when I woke up, my only thought all day long, the last thought before I went to bed and the man in my dreams. It was a typical puppy love relationship, we talked on the phone for hours and the time that we weren't together felt like centuries. But as it always goes, days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Something was changing about myself during this time. I was slowly adjusting for someone else. I was starting to put his feelings and thoughts before my own. I was maturing.
      It was a chilly day and the park was a little muddy. Brian took my hand and walked me over to the pavilion. He pulled the picnic table out from underneath it, then flipped the garbage can up-side-down on top of it creating a perfect make-shift staircase for me to climb up. He climbed up first and then held out his hand to help pull me onto the roof of the pavilion. Together we sat up there facing the open field. He scooched in closer to me and took my hands into his. With a gentle touch he opened my fingers to place his palm against the inside of mine.
"I like your hands" he said to me
"I like them because they are messed up like mine." I looked at him with half a smile and a blushing face, he knew I hated my hands. I was embarrassed by them because I thought my fingers looked weird. Then he showed me his pinkey finger and how it was crooked because he had broken it so many times. He closed his fingers in between mine and said, "Don't ever change them."
I wanted that moment to last forever, just for him to keep holding me on that roof top and to never let go.
Without raising his gaze from staring at his shoes he said, "I told myself that one day I would bring the girl I love up here to watch the sunset with me."
The wind blew my hair and I had to close my eyes to keep him from seeing the tears welling up in them. I regained my composure and looked at him with the biggest smile and said, "I am her?"
"I love you Britney."
"I love you too."
and for the first time, on that roof top, no one could touch us. I was his and he was mine and we were in love.

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